i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
