I like my sex mixed with concussions.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
