So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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