And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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