Well douche your snatch and let's go!
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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