Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
