I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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