It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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