Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
