i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
