What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I would ride that face into the sunset
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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