You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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