but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
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The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
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We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
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