it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
