YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Randomize
