Buhtt sex?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
