i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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