Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
