Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
