wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize