no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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