omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
this will be a night to untag.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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