just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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