she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
