Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
