Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
