I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
