What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
