You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
