similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
