tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
