Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
