Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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