What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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