My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
