I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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