Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
