Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
