I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
