that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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