he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
