I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
