Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I believe in your delicious
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
