When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize