i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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