We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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