K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
