Nicole vs. Life
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
