will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
