Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
