there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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