ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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