Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
