Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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