I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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