Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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