yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
