i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize