Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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