okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
