i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
