Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
