How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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