Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
