I just made out with a guy for $7.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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