there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
